How would you feel if you were called either one of these names? At 46, I would own it, but how about for an 11-year-old?
Weirdo by definition means a person whose dress or behaviour seems strange or eccentric. I can relate to that. Geek has a few definitions: a person who is knowledgeable about and obsessively interested in a particular subject, especially one that is technical or of specialist or niche interest. The more derogatory definition: an unfashionable person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious. Label me geek as well as I resonate with both of these. I don’t dress for anyone else but me. Comfort over fashion any day. And yes I am knowledgeable and obsessive about all things wellbeing, which makes me good at what I do.
It’s taken me a long time to accept all parts of myself that others would criticize. I understand why people judge or criticize, as they are just trying to make themselves feel better because of their insecurities and need for attention. Easy for me to understand and comprehend but for an 11-year-old, it’s harder to process such complex emotions or understandings. So what do you do? I’m not sure there is one answer or a right way so I did what I have learned over the years of listening to other’s complex situations. I am present, I listen with my eyes, ears, and my senses and I don’t try to fix the problem. Whilst I tried to explain why people act the way they do, I didn’t give our daughter a definitive answer but instead asked her what she thought. Then I asked her if she would like me to talk with her teacher. This isn’t a once-off incident. This has been happening most of the year and she has dealt with it her way which included not involving me or anyone else. Today was different. Today she asked for my help so I emailed her teacher to schedule a chat and will see what happens from there.
Words have the power to hurt and to heal. It’s not just the word itself but the energy behind the word.
So what do you do when you get called names? What do you do when your children get called names? A single word can create a belief in a person that they take with them throughout life. We all have the ability to empower others or disempower them. I know what I want to be responsible for.
I showed Nia what I had written and asked her if she would like to write something.
Nia’s perspective:
“When people call me names it doesn’t make me feel good. I try to pretend that I don’t care and just take it as a compliment; deep down it makes me feel sad and that people don’t like me for being me. But then I realize they are probably just doing it for unneeded attention. Besides, their opinions are different to mine. I felt better after telling somebody that I trust, about the situation. Now I know that if somebody says something mean to me again, I have all the support that I need. Being called a weirdo and a geek taught me a lesson. That I’m amazing just the way I am”.
The message today is “be kind”. And if you don’t have anything nice to say, then look in the mirror. It’s easier to blame others for our unhappiness than it is to own it and make a change. Hug a tree. Stare at the clouds. Dance. You have so many choices when it comes to how you treat others and how you treat yourself.
